Close Please enter your Username and Password


Bizzysback 57F
1194 posts
12/15/2017 3:35 am
How to break up with someone?


I met a guy on line and have met him in person briefly, in Philippines. He was a nice person but not really my type and I don't think we are a good match. Apparently he is my boyfriend when all along I thought I was just being nice and polite to him. He asked me before if it is possible for me to love someone like him. My reply was , "why not, when I can even love stray dogs". I never said I love him but it seems that , that was his interpretation, which I realize as the days went by. I have tried to distance myself from him and tried to break up with him but was unsuccessful.

I am never used to breaking up with someone without a really valid reason. I am worried about hurting his feelings and sending him to the damps. Now what should I do when I don't really love the guy? I did not mean to hurt or play with his feelings but he misinterpreted my words, or did he? I kinda went along with him, chatting and talking about his dreams and me giving many suggestions. Now he seem so deeply involved with me making plans and talking about marriage. I'm stuck, I don't have the gut to hurt his feelings but I don't really see myself as his wife.

I am hoping for 2 things either I learn to love him or he finds someone else and leave me. I just want him as a friend and maybe I just feel sorry for him. I don't really love him. I want to fall in love again. That head over heels feeling but I am sure that's not him. Oh boy. what should I do? How do I break up with an accidental relationship?




“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/15/2017 3:36 am

I need serious comments.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


ccdomonic 68M
223 posts
12/15/2017 6:07 am

bizzy just print out this blog and give it to him
or sit him down and read it to him
its time now to not worry about his feeling but to take the the strong hand and just do it
it will only get worse for you and him the longer it goes on
cc


elizabethvivian2 44F
603 posts
12/15/2017 6:48 am

    Quoting ccdomonic:
    bizzy just print out this blog and give it to him
    or sit him down and read it to him
    its time now to not worry about his feeling but to take the the strong hand and just do it
    it will only get worse for you and him the longer it goes on
    cc
hahahaha.. brilliant idea cc! I might as well save this blog for my next failed relationship.. lol. The "print out" idea was hilarious!


elizabethvivian2 44F
603 posts
12/15/2017 6:50 am

.. another one of Bizzy's rejected boys.. beware, she's a heart breaker.. lol


amorlane21 41F
33 posts
12/15/2017 3:00 pm

since you are asking for a serious comments I would like to be totally blunt....theres no terms such as accidental relationship it takes to two tango. What do you expect when you continue with the relationship when the feelings you have is not the same he expects?


amorlane21 41F
33 posts
12/15/2017 3:07 pm

make your own decision sis Bizzy its either you continue or quit


RutJal 76M
435 posts
12/16/2017 12:03 am

Totally agree with ccdomonic. Though he may sounded humorous, Take it seriously. Face the situation head on and tell him where you strand... then say your goodbye "Tenderly".

Welcome to MyWorld!


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/16/2017 1:37 am

    Quoting elizabethvivian2:
    .. another one of Bizzy's rejected boys.. beware, she's a heart breaker.. lol
hey people might believe you.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/16/2017 1:39 am

    Quoting ccdomonic:
    bizzy just print out this blog and give it to him
    or sit him down and read it to him
    its time now to not worry about his feeling but to take the the strong hand and just do it
    it will only get worse for you and him the longer it goes on
    cc
Just thinking about doing it makes me feel weak. Is it possible for me to fall deeply in love instead and have a happy ending?

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/16/2017 1:40 am

    Quoting amorlane21:
    make your own decision sis Bizzy its either you continue or quit
That is my dilemma, to continue and let it grow or to quit.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/16/2017 1:46 am

    Quoting RutJal:
    Totally agree with ccdomonic. Though he may sounded humorous, Take it seriously. Face the situation head on and tell him where you strand... then say your goodbye "Tenderly".
Saying goodbye and leaving a hurt feeling are my weaknesses. I'd rather that he breaks up with me or that I fall deeply for him. He is such a nice guy, I hate to break his heart.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


ccdomonic 68M
223 posts
12/16/2017 4:03 am

better to hurt him a bit now than a lot more later
just bite the bullet and DO IT
cc


ccdomonic 68M
223 posts
12/16/2017 4:05 am

if you're going to fall in love you would have done so by now for his sake as well as yours DO IT


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/16/2017 5:10 am

    Quoting ccdomonic:
    if you're going to fall in love you would have done so by now for his sake as well as yours DO IT
I guess you are right. Huhuhu why do I feel hurt?

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/16/2017 5:43 pm

    Quoting ccdomonic:
    better to hurt him a bit now than a lot more later
    just bite the bullet and DO IT
    cc
Ok it's done. But why am I so sad about it? I know it's temporary but still sad.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


ccdomonic 68M
223 posts
12/17/2017 4:21 am

well its maybe that you are sad over what might have been?? hugs


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/17/2017 7:43 am

    Quoting ccdomonic:
    well its maybe that you are sad over what might have been?? hugs
Yes that's exactly it. Thanks.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


fantasiamore 67F
10986 posts
12/17/2017 4:16 pm

it is difficult to break someone's heart but more difficult to feign that there is love or that eventually you will fall in love with the person..tbough they say it is better for someone to love you than you loving that someone, to have that real and good relationship..i was in that situation recently..he is someone easy to love, sweet, thoughtful, caring and a this gentleman..but there is simply no spark to speak of and ignite that happy relationship..nah i have not turned callous..i am still much in search of someone who will be with me through the years..he asked why i cannot accept his proposal of love...i replied am loving you only as a friend and please nothing more beyond to offer you..hurt as he could be, but i must tell him the truth...

“I hold it true, whatever befall; I it, when I sorrow most.


RutJal 76M
435 posts
12/17/2017 8:00 pm

"Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and cry.">>> Christina Rossetti

Welcome to MyWorld!


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/18/2017 12:26 am

    Quoting fantasiamore:
    it is difficult to break someone's heart but more difficult to feign that there is love or that eventually you will fall in love with the person..tbough they say it is better for someone to love you than you loving that someone, to have that real and good relationship..i was in that situation recently..he is someone easy to love, sweet, thoughtful, caring and a this gentleman..but there is simply no spark to speak of and ignite that happy relationship..nah i have not turned callous..i am still much in search of someone who will be with me through the years..he asked why i cannot accept his proposal of love...i replied am loving you only as a friend and please nothing more beyond to offer you..hurt as he could be, but i must tell him the truth...
Thanks for sharing your story ta Jane. I know exactly what you meant and I gave myself and him the chance but nothing the longer it goes I can sense that he is falling deeply but I am definitely not so it was better to cut it short.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/18/2017 12:27 am

    Quoting RutJal:
    "Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and cry.">>> Christina Rossetti
Yes I am smiling.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Baluga10 78M
8 posts
12/18/2017 9:54 pm

Mum to her daughter: "Baby open your mouth?
Baby to her Mum : " Yes ,Mama".
Mum to her daughter: " Baby,Telling lies?
Baby to her Mum : " No.Mama"
and the mother hugs the baby so tightly.

Another version :

Mum to her daughter : " Baby open your mouth?"
Baby to her Mum : " Yes Mama"
Mum to her daughter : " Baby telling lies?"
Baby to her Mum : " Yes Mama"
and the mother berates her baby..

It is useful sometimes to tell lies ,but ,generally ,it is harmful.
and, also, it is harmful sometimes to tell the truth but generally it is useful.

Now your premise lies in .Boyfriends and girlfriends telling the truths to each other,therefore,they both love each other.in your case you contradict the conclusion ,lol,lol ,lol

Therefor my serious comment is : break up with him and look for another guy online,whom you like best!!..lol lol


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/19/2017 5:25 pm

    Quoting Baluga10:
    Mum to her daughter: "Baby open your mouth?
    Baby to her Mum : " Yes ,Mama".
    Mum to her daughter: " Baby,Telling lies?
    Baby to her Mum : " No.Mama"
    and the mother hugs the baby so tightly.

    Another version :

    Mum to her daughter : " Baby open your mouth?"
    Baby to her Mum : " Yes Mama"
    Mum to her daughter : " Baby telling lies?"
    Baby to her Mum : " Yes Mama"
    and the mother berates her baby..

    It is useful sometimes to tell lies ,but ,generally ,it is harmful.
    and, also, it is harmful sometimes to tell the truth but generally it is useful.

    Now your premise lies in .Boyfriends and girlfriends telling the truths to each other,therefore,they both love each other.in your case you contradict the conclusion ,lol,lol ,lol

    Therefor my serious comment is : break up with him and look for another guy online,whom you like best!!..lol lol
I have done that, as per the threads of comments above. I couldn't stand the lie of being his girlfriend when I don't have that feeling for him other than as a friend.
Look for another guy? Wish me luck.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/19/2017 10:47 pm

he is a nice person but not my type. That's what I said. All I want is someone that I can have intelligent and funny conversation with. Someone who can make me laugh and at the same time make me feel loved and cared for.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/23/2017 6:59 am

    Quoting bingmo24:
    just follow me instead of that nice guy.
    really i dont undestand whats real nice.if you follow me than you can get a make your laugh and at the same time make me feel loved and cared for. ok? maybe you dont need any doubt haha
Sorry , but thanks anyway.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/27/2017 1:58 am

    Quoting bingmo24:
    just now are you terminated in aus.job?
Yes.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


theta2011 47F
1898 posts
12/27/2017 5:20 am

There's no easy way to break somebody's heart. What's even more painful is to prolong the one sided relationship. Nike says - just do it..


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
12/27/2017 10:40 pm

    Quoting theta2011:
    There's no easy way to break somebody's heart. What's even more painful is to prolong the one sided relationship. Nike says - just do it..
Done. Got a lot of courage from here.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


eb1209
28210 posts
12/29/2017 4:02 pm

Somehow, I can relate...We have similar situation...But yours is probably more complicated because there is an assumption that there is a relationship going on...But, if I were you, please just tell him the truth...I know it will hurt, but what can I say? The TRUTH can hurt sometimes..

Just call me ELZ


flower_boy2014 34M
13 posts
1/4/2018 5:54 pm

    Quoting Bizzysback:
    he is a nice person but not my type. That's what I said. All I want is someone that I can have intelligent and funny conversation with. Someone who can make me laugh and at the same time make me feel loved and cared for.
If he is not your type, why do you continue to invest in time with him?

What qualities in him do you see enough to say that you can give up some of your ideals, if any?

For a man to make effort to please you with no prequalifications - that is something! In return, if you feel "any" for him, the question becomes - how much can you give of yourself and meet him halfway?


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
1/4/2018 11:09 pm

    Quoting eb1209:
    Somehow, I can relate...We have similar situation...But yours is probably more complicated because there is an assumption that there is a relationship going on...But, if I were you, please just tell him the truth...I know it will hurt, but what can I say? The TRUTH can hurt sometimes..
Yep done that and now it's over. Thanks for dropping by and sharing your stories too.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 57F
973 posts
1/4/2018 11:19 pm

    Quoting flower_boy2014:
    If he is not your type, why do you continue to invest in time with him?

    What qualities in him do you see enough to say that you can give up some of your ideals, if any?

    For a man to make effort to please you with no prequalifications - that is something! In return, if you feel "any" for him, the question becomes - how much can you give of yourself and meet him halfway?
I have stopped and no longer talk to him as of this date. I can always find some good qualities in a person but not close to my ideals. I don't feel any romantic love for him but I suspected he mistook my response as love for him.
Anyway thanks for dropping by and it's all over and I am relieved. I was finally able to break up with him.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


deepwithin 48M
9 posts
3/23/2018 5:32 am

Dont rush. plz wait. may be u can give him negative signals too slowly. Talk about a couple of male friends. And if he asks directly make it clear.