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THE MANY FACETS OF ME



“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”



“Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.”



“Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.”





quotes by: O.Mandino,M.Pagna,& G.Anderson

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I Am So Proud Of Myself......
Posted:Apr 25, 2018 10:07 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2018 6:12 am
198618 Views

I just arrived from a recent visit to NYC due to an overdue reunion with my former co-workers and a promised meeting with a High School classmate who is visiting there for the first time and requested for us to meet. The reason I did not visit the Big Apple for a couple of years is that I do not want to create a havoc of personal insecurity to someone who is now the GF of a HS secret admirer. And so, I made sure that there will be no meeting in the eye with that person, and I went about my plans and more. I truly enjoyed the pressure-free visit this time. However, on my last day, this particular late-admit admirer phoned me and asked if we could have coffee or dinner in Manhattan after his work in New Jersey. Of course, we are still friends, but I do not want the now GF to feel ill knowing that her man is going to meet me without her, or did he intend to keep it a secret from her? Nevertheless, I politely said, "NO", and gave the alibi that I was using the last day in the Big City as my rest day, and I can save my energy since I was flying back to Texas the next morning. A year before that, this same guy admitted to me that the reason he did not pursue me was that I live down South, and he is not in favor of the Long Distance Relationships ( LDR ). Oh sure! whatever! But I did not give him the liberty nor the luxury of him thinking that I was in a way still interested in him..What for? He already made that decision, and I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings just because I can sense that he likes me more than his present GF...What a dork!...But, I am so proud of myself....I could have gotten out with him just for the old times...But, NO!
12 Comments
My Hunch was right!
Posted:Mar 25, 2018 1:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2018 7:51 am
208573 Views

No matter how I give love another chance, my gut feelings always prevail. The guy I was talking about the last time, he is a goner! He did not even want to be my friend anymore. So, there you go!...Now, can you blame me? I always have second thoughts about men who have history of not only having an ex-wife, but ex-wives at that..I mean, come on! If you made a mistake marrying the first time, why would you rush to marry the second one, and then, separate again, just like that?...And to complicate matters, you are out there, looking for another one, when legally, you're still married with the second one. Yup!...I found out that, he had not yet filed a divorce on the second wife, because they still share business, and it will be a lot of hassle if they legalize the separation. So, what would have I become if I allowed to be in a relationship with him? I would have been a mistress , for heaven's sake! Oh no! that would have been a total disaster! I did not grow old, waiting for a relationship just to be a mistress ! ...What I am saying is, it is always good to think things over, so many times, before jumping into a relationship. It is not a mortal sin to be single, and even if I stayed like that for the rest of my life, I won't miss a thing...I will stick to the old -fashioned "get to know each other" very well first, and don't be fooled by superficial kindness and generosity (yeah, he spoiled me with attention and gifts early on, but when I refused to be his girl, he didn't even want me to be his friend ). But look at me?....I am still joyfully single...Thank goodness!
9 Comments
I Am Back!
Posted:Mar 21, 2018 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2018 4:24 am
204513 Views

Sorry, I have not blogged for a while, but I am back now. Special thanks to Jane and CC for keeping the bloglandia alive. I have been out of the USA and visited Dubai briefly to have a reunion with my son and the rest of the family who were there. I had a great time, and now back to work and back to reality. Sometimes, we just have to make the most of what we have. Be it time, or material things. We should count our blessings because we have tons of them. I will be back for more.
5 Comments
Maybe, It's All About Me After All....
Posted:Feb 8, 2018 7:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2018 3:47 am
221750 Views

Most people think that single women like me are very picky and are reluctant to be in a relationship again because the prospective men in question are not good enough or below the expected standards required. After all these years, 19 years as a matter of fact, of not having any romantic relationship, I came to realize that I have some fears due to my own inabilities, and fall-outs and my own sub-qualities as well. After all, I am not perfect. What I meant is, I've been afraid that I am not also able to meet the "usual" expectations of men from their partner as well. I know that I am not good (or inexperienced) and am not willing to do unconventional intimate acts in bedroom, and that makes me feel not confident. For that reason, when I meet someone who has most of the qualities I look for, but appears still has a good appetite in bed, then I back off....Now, you know more, as to WHY...So, this Valentine's Day? Zero again...
23 Comments
Courtship And Rejection Nowadays
Posted:Jan 16, 2018 6:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2018 3:41 am
222129 Views

Where was I all these years? Am I stuck during the days when courtship was about men really making efforts to win the hearts of the apple of their eyes? When men still say " I LOVE YOU", and when men still wait a long time for women to say " I LOVE YOU TOO" ? Now, even the older men just give you hints, they give you flowers, gifts, or dine and wine with you, but that's about it.!!! Everything else is presumptive, and honestly?... I do not like it!... Part of the presumption is that you will not entertain others, even if there is no real score between the two of you.....Hmmmm?... Double I do not like it! .....And so, early on, I tell the guy, that I would like to remain friends with him, and I like us to be "that", and if that is not okay with him, he is free to go. Only then, I realized that the intention is not deep or serious. Or maybe things are really way different now. Maybe my expectations are still high, and the men move on faster....Still, I will not bend, just because...
12 Comments
Sorry, Not Yet....:(
Posted:Dec 30, 2017 7:13 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2018 9:08 am
225804 Views

And I thought I was ready.....I was wrong! He is lovable, and I like him as a friend, but I do not feel strong about having or starting a relationship with him..I need more time to get to know him. I have seen his good sides, and he really has the tendency to spoil me, but I have seen how he can get frustrated as well. I think he knew that I am not really into him..He felt it. I am not ready for any commitment in a relationship..19 long years of no man in my life, and I cannot imagine myself readjusting again to a very stressful condition where expectations, limitations, and possible control or loss of freedom can happen...But, I am still working on it...I am not done yet...Just not the right time...or maybe not the right person...
18 Comments
Warm My Heart.....
Posted:Dec 3, 2017 6:36 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2018 9:06 am
230366 Views

It is not going to be easy, I know...But, small steps had been taken...very small, as a matter of fact. It takes a strong force to break the boulder that hardened and glacier that enveloped my heart for a very long time. Please be patient...Be very patient. I cannot promise you that it is going to be fast and easy, but just give me time. It is like rising from the death....Please help me live again....
14 Comments
The Wake Up Call ......Lesson Learned, the Hard Way
Posted:Nov 22, 2017 7:46 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2018 9:01 am
230463 Views

You see, it was not the first time that a friend, a very close friend at that, made a confession "after the fact"...And in as much as I want to swear, I wouldn't, but I hope it was the last... You have seen his face here before. He was a High school classmate that I always get reunited with when I visit New York-New Jersey. I have not seen him for 2 years , and as I texted him about my plans to visit NYC again before the end of the year, he sent me a "sad face emoticon" What was that all about? "I wish I can see you without my GF getting jealous!" ...I knew that a few months ago, he was tagged by someone from FB and of course I saw that they were close enough to think that they were a couple, but that was just that. No Big deal! I was happy for them. And I asked him why would I be a threat to her? As shy as he is (or so, I thought he was), he admitted to me that the GF knows he had a huge crush on me.. I'm like-----What the ____!!!! , she knew something I wasn't even formally told, even though I felt it several times, and I was just waiting, and waiting, and waiting to be told!!!!!......Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!! exactly my feeling after the revelation.... I was stunned!!! And so, to get even with him, I reciprocated his boldness and honesty by telling him, " Well, too bad, had you told me right away, the feeling was mutual." There was a pause, I guess he was just as stunned as I was....We were very good at hiding our feelings and we are both very conservative....Hayz! Anyway, to make him feel better, I told him that we will remain very good friends no matter what, and if anything good that came out of the revelation; now, we both already know how we felt for each other, and life goes on...We are NOT breaking someone's heart just because.....Lesson learned...
11 Comments
Taking A Risk With You....Using Small Steps...
Posted:Nov 20, 2017 7:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2018 6:53 am
231005 Views


I know you are not a member here, and I know you don't even have any idea that I will be blogging about you. But just so you know (maybe in the future, I will show this blog to you) that I am taking a risk with you...step by step...Baby steps as a matter of fact. Please bear with me, because it is not going to be easy. You know very little about me, as I know very little about you, but we are going to take this new journey together, one step at a time, one day at a time...And wherever it takes us ( I hope not to the dead end), we will continue to be together, our hands clasped, and never let go....
13 Comments
Taking the Road Less Traveled....
Posted:Nov 8, 2017 6:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2018 3:45 am
233328 Views

Just feeling metaphoric today. 8 days off almost over. I’m glad I spent some time reflecting on my past, my present, and how I perceive my future. I remember the writer in me...the gift that God gave me to express my thoughts on anything at any given time. One doesn’t have to be a professional journalist to be expressive. Writing used to be my passion during my youth.
I came across this image with a verse by Robert Frost : “The Road Not Taken”, and suddenly I had several flashbacks. Literally, I love traveling, and as you noticed, I visited places many times because I am familiar with them. Then, it dawned on me that I’ve been doing the same thing in my personal life. I’ve been so scared to try new things, meet new people, and I am stuck! What have I done to my life? I confined it, restricted it, over-protected it, encapsulated it to the point of creating my own world named; “Me, I, and Myself”, not that type of narcissism , but a world full of limitations. But that is about to change.....Soon!
From now on, I will gradually take the Road Less Traveled. I will explore its un-familiarities and will blend with the unknown. I’ve ignored that road for decades because I was afraid where it will lead me, and the dangers it will cause me along the way. But I also missed the chance to see its beauty, and the promise of a better life. The question is: Is there a guarantee? The answer is No!...But I will take it. At this point in my life, I endured all types of physical and emotional anguish. The past experiences did not kill me, but only made me stronger. I will take this Road Less Traveled, even if it will lead me to a Dead End.......

9 Comments

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